Dec 2, 20245 min read

The Other Side of Burn-Out

Updated: Dec 4, 2024

Burn-out doesn’t happen all at once. For me, it crept in like an uninvited guest, taking up residence in my body and mind before I even realized it was there. I was doing all the things—working long hours and weekends, saying “yes” when I meant “maybe,” and pushing my limits in the name of being “good enough.” Sound familiar? Here is a little piece of my story about how my burn-out cycle was born. . .

My first job as a babysitter was at 14yrs old. I quickly discovered that I loved making my own money and looking back, I can see the roots of my entrepreneurial spirit beginning to take hold at the young age of 14. The sense of independence that came with working was amazing and over the years and through many different jobs, I unknowingly began to equate my self-worth with how much money I was making.

By the time I was in college I was working full-time as a server in a fancy fine dining restaurant. Juggling a full-time course load and serving shifts became a point of pride for me, as it should have been at that time in my life: I was young. I had the energy and drive. And it was necessary, as my parents couldn't fully support me financially.

But that sense of pride that became associated with an overly full schedule would eventually become highly problematic, even maladaptive as I got older. My overachieving ways served me very well for a very long time, and I have plenty of gratitude for my years of hustle. I got myself through college and then graduate school, all while working and supporting myself. But what happened was that, when I needed to slow down, when I needed to prioritize my self-care over my productivity. . . I couldn't. I didn't know how, and the idea of slowing down sounded like failure to me.

Work, and more specifically, very hard work, became my coping mechanism for just about everything. It was what I knew how to do and do well. So on some unconscious level, it made sense to throw myself into work whenever something really difficult presented itself. And that's how my burn-out cycle began.

The thing about a burn-out cycle, is that it operates on such an unconscious level, making it really difficult to identify, much less get out of. Here is what my burn-out cycle looked like:

Something happens that challenges my sense of self-worth. This could have been something big or small. It could have been a slow week of work where I wasn't making "enough" money, or a serious trauma that I didn't know how to process.
Instead of sitting with my emotions and processing through whatever big or small event threatened my fragile sense of self-worth, I dug my heels into work so deep that I didn't leave any time to process, or just BE.
This would go on for several weeks, slowly accelerating me into a state of total overwhelm, exhaustion, irritability, and ultimately leaving me feeling like I had been run over by a mac truck.
A lot of times I would get sick. I would run my immune system down so badly; I would end up with some sort of respiratory infection usually. The stress I was holding onto would spill over into my relationships, resulting in me being a not-so-great partner. Then I would feel terrible about myself, beat myself up tirelessly, and decide that the only solution to feeling better again would be. . . you guessed it!! WORK.
RINSE AND REPEAT. Welcome to burn-out my friends!

Honestly, it took the maturity that comes along with getting older, some seriously traumatic life events that forced me to reassess my coping strategies, and a gentle and skilled therapist to help me begin to heal my burn-out cycle.

Learning to Rest

It wasn’t easy to let go of the grind. My hustle had always been my best friend. But I had finally gotten to a crucial point and had to learn how to truly REST.

And as I began to rest—truly rest—something shifted. I started reconnecting with myself in ways I hadn’t felt in years. Rest wasn’t just about lying down (though sometimes that’s exactly what I needed); it was about creating space for what nourished me:

Quiet moments with nature.
Conversations that fed my soul.
Playfulness and creativity.
Connection with my body and intuition.

I began to understand that rest isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an act of radical self-love. It’s the foundation for everything meaningful in life—joy, presence, creativity, and connection. I started to see that my self-worth wasn't attached to how much money was in my bank account, it was actually deeply rooted in my sense of well-being and how I was loving myself. Wait. . . what?!! Yes, my self-worth began to become disentangled from my burn-out cycle, and instead became lovingly braided into the ways in which I was caring for myself. What a concept right?!

An Invitation to Pause

That’s why I have created my next retreat, Sister Beloved—to offer women the opportunity to rest, reconnect, and rediscover themselves. I trust that in spaces like this retreat, we can disentangle our self-worth from our burn-out cycle and begin the healing process of truly loving ourselves.

So many of us are carrying the invisible weight of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overachievement. We’re tired but don’t feel like we have permission to stop. What if, instead of pushing through, you paused? What if you gave yourself the gift of restoring your soul?

The retreat is more than a weekend getaway. It’s an invitation to step off the treadmill of “doing” and into the joy of simply being. You’ll be held in a space of rest, connection, and embodiment—a space where you can let go of the pressure to perform and instead embrace the freedom of being exactly who you are.

Together, we’ll explore what it feels like to rest deeply, connect authentically, and move through the world with more ease. This is your chance to reclaim the parts of yourself that burn-out has silenced.